(i)
feels like you've got it all figured out when you told me you didn't want us anymore and you're leaving for malibu. my feet had to clutch the ground, begging for it to not let me go - the same way you did. because i did not want to fall - the same way i did, for you. said you're chasing your dreams, so i had to stop running because you're on another lap now and you've got no time for pit stop no more. i'm sorry that it had to come to this, you said and i said i'm sorry too. i just didn't know to whom.

(ii)
i'm sorry that it took me so long to let you hold me in your arms. i am not very good with space. my mum used to put me in a shoebox when i cried as a baby because she thought the darkness would shut me up. i ended up growing shutting people out because having people in my shoebox terrifies me as much as me leaving it.

(iii)
you loved him, didn't you? with all your heart at that. you knew it'll go down the drain yet you poured him with love and affection like a leaking pipe waiting for the plumber who would never arrive. you let him bend your definition of faith as you faithfully swallowed the lies rolling out his tongue. and you swallowed them all, love, because the truth apparently, hurts you more than pain.


p/s: i would like to end this with a line from hou lai de wo men (cause i've been watching it again and crying over it again); 

we have everything in the end, just not each other.

// zahra.